Oh My God?
by TheSunEater
Summary: What's a god to do when his wife won't let him hide out in his workshop for another few hundred years? The TsukkiYama Greek Mythology AU no one asked for! (Everyone tagged is one of the gods that's in the first chapter, except Yamaguchi!)
1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes:**

This chapter is the set up chapter, after this it'll be all Haikyuu, but yeah to get where everything is coming from.

List of characters in this chapter/their alter egos:

Tsukishima/Hephaestus, Kageyama/Ares, Hinata/Aphrodite, Hermes/Oikawa, Bokuto/Athena

Mythos Notes:

Athena and Hephaestus were together in some versions of their stories, they are referred to as well matched in terms of brains.

Aetna is where Hephaestus resides mostly, where his workshop is.

(Comments are always appreciated, if you have questions lemme know^^)

* * *

" _Why haven't you taken a lover as of recent?_ " It was a simple question, one perhaps he would have had an answer to if he'd thought about the topic at all.

He leaned back and gazed at his wife as he hummed softly. Aphrodite was as beautiful as ever, but she no longer caused _that_ spark in him, so his hands worked at unwinding a bundle of wires, his mind not bothered by her presence.

" _It's been many years, Hephaestus, since you've even left Aetna, I_.." He looked away from her, already knowing where that would lead. She did not understand the complexities of emotions and personalities, but of course.

"I know you mean well, wife." He rumbled, finally putting down the detangled wires as he stood and cupped her cheek. "We still are very different, but I know where it is you come from."

He does not comment that he'd rather not have to deal with all of the idiocy of having another child but..

"I shall live in the Asian regions for a change of pace this time, I think.." His lips turned up slightly as she beamed at him, delighted by his agreement.

" _That is wonderful, I might also live near you as a friend this time, it has been too long since you just.._ " She covered his hand with her own. " _Enjoyed_."

* * *

That's how Hephaestus ended up on Olympus, scanning a multitude of three dimensional maps a few days later.

He was vaguely aware of Ares and Athena in the courtyard, discussing some new political figures causing strife in the west. _Rather, Ares was discussing the weapons the man was using and Athena was discussing his idiocy._

Maybe that's why he didn't expect them to quietly join his scanning of the maps laid out in front of him.

" _Hephaestus, have you looked at Japan yet?_ " The burly man looked up in surprise at Athena, before shaking his head slightly. She hummed and pulled up the country, pointing out a few cities before backing off. " _I hear many good things about their advances in a multitude of fields as of late, but have yet to check, last time I went down was.._ "

She trailed off and Ares chuckled, pulling up another country. " **You went to India last, 'thena. You two should get out more..** "

Athena and Hephaestus simply ignored the dig, used to the war mongrel's ways. "Japan, is it..? I shall think on it."

" **I'll never get why you don't amplify your voice..** " He didn't miss the way Ares' eyes flickered as he wandered off, or how Athena smiled happily before she followed suit.

He waited until they were out of hearing range and sighed, mumbling to himself as he began to craft his next life. "Perhaps not everyone likes for their life to be a show all the time.."

It was too bad, however that he didn't notice that his wife and Hermes were quietly spying on him from behind the giant pillars as he planned.

* * *

" **Are you sure he won't be mad?** "

"Stop amplifying your voice, Ares!"

"Sorry, but are you sure?"

Athena simply hummed as the two lovers discussed, already crafting her body. "He might be upset for a bit, but mad? No."

Hermes rocked back and forth on his heels, a body already prepared for himself. "Hmm.. It sounds like fun to me."

Aphrodite smiled and all of tension that had been building seemed to disappear from the group as she spoke. "Please, shall we do this? For Hephaestus?"

Athena smiled wryly back at her and pat her on the head. "Only, because it is Hephaestus."

Ares sighed and nodded, causing Hermes to grin again as he added on. "So Japan huh? What shall we call ourselves?"

Athena's grey eyes seemed to twinkle as she turned back to her new form. "Well we know his new name.."

Aphrodite hummed in agreement. "Tsukishima.."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Notes:**

Current list of characters from this chapter/their alter egos:

Tsukishima-Hephaestus

Yamaguchi-human? Future consort? ___Undecided___

Mythos Notes:

Aetna is where Hephaestus usually stays, where his forges are located.

* * *

Tsukishima was trying to keep a low profile. Well as low a profile as one could keep when they towered over ninety percent of the student population.

He wasn't sure why many felt it necessary to socialize and 'hang out' after classes. They were only in elementary school, after all.

So when the sound of jeering reached his ears at first..

He ignored it as, well.. "They aren't bullying me, it's not my issue."

That's what he told himself the first few times. Until one day, he strode directly past the bullies and their victim.

At first, he intended to keep walking, as he really had no business there. Then he glanced at the group and found himself oddly transfixed.

Why were they bullying this boy? What had he done wrong? Was it because of his freckles? His relaxed nature?

 _It just.. It was not fair. He could not let another person suffer. Not like he had eons ago._

Tsukishima blinked as focused back in on the matter at hand, ignoring that weird thought as the bullies turned on him. "Pathetic."

He had turned to walk away when one of them grabbed at him, causing him to lean over him and sneer. " **What**."

He snickered as the boy paled and ran off with the rest of the bullies, not really caring enough to look at the boy he'd saved as he also stocked off.

What useless people.

* * *

But, it was whatever he guessed. A couple of years later when Yamaguchi teased him ' _about trying to collect followers_ ' after he scared off a group of boys that were harassing a girl, it clicked.

 _Yamaguchi was the boy he'd saved._

Of course, all his teasing got him was a frown and the usual. "Shut up, Yamaguchi."

* * *

Somewhere, in the forges of Aetna, Hephaestus paused briefly in the middle of wiring the circuits for some new toy. He savored the small moment of his rebirth, watching on the three dimensional display as a grin lit Yamaguchi's face and he followed Tsukishima. "Hai, Tsukki!"

 _Maybe he would enjoy this lifetime some.._


	3. Chapter 3

**Author Notes:**

Sorry it's been short chapters, we're getting to the juicier bits now!

Current List of Characters from this chapter/their alter egos:

Tsukishima-Hephaestus

Yamaguchi-human? Future consort? _Undecided_

Mythos Notes:

Aetna is where Hephaestus usually stays, where his forges are located.

Nothing much new this week!

* * *

There wasn't really a specific moment when Tsukishima had decided he would attend Karasuno. He vaguely remembered taking entrance exams along with Yamaguchi, but they had all blurred together.

 _Ah, there had been that one moment.._

"Tsukki!" He glanced up from the pile of acceptance letters he'd been about to sort through and glanced at the boy that had taken over his bed. "Is there anywhere specifically you want to go to?"

"Hmm.." The blond just shoved up his glasses and hummed, a small spark of _something_ shooting through him. "Who knows."

If he had kept looking at Yamaguchi, maybe he would have questioned him further, but he didn't. Too focused on the task before him, he didn't catch the look on his friend's face and the moment ended there.

* * *

Tsukishima consciously had avoided Karasuno.

He'd trashed the acceptance letter, not sparing it a second glance as it wasn't worth it.

"I wouldn't consider that pathetic school." Was it his brother's experience there that poisoned him against it or something else? Tadashi didn't really know.

However he still slipped the letter back into Tsukishima's 'maybe' pile for his parents to see.

When Tsukishima found out his parents were including Karasuno in the schools they were discussing, he ignored him for over a week. Not answering texts, calls, or coming out of his room when he came over.

Yamaguchi, eventually, bought new headphones and a piece of strawberry shortcake to appease Tsukishima. However he didn't _seem_ at all sorry, much to the giant's frustration. "Tsukki, let's go together okay?"

Frustrated with both the fact that Tadashi would not explain himself and he _could not_ think of a reason to demand he explain further, the blond eventually gave in.

"You better not do this again, Tadashi." He had grumbled, chomping down on a forkful of cake and glaring at his friend.

Tadashi only beamed, carefully unwrapping his headphone cords and plugging them into his MP3 player for him. "Hai Tsukki, I promise!"

* * *

What Tsukishima didn't realize was Yamaguchi had already gotten what he wanted, so he'd really never have to do it again.

It was an amusing stalemate, at least to Tadashi, to say the least.

* * *

 _However up on Olympus? There were a few gods that were excited to see the boys enter high school._

 _Unfortunately, Hephaestus was not one, barely noticing that they'd transitioned to the age they had as he tinkered away in his forges._


End file.
